Derek Story 2
Ok, so it starts off with me, Derek, Pach and a flaming cow. Don't ask about the cow, we were drunk. So anyways me and Pach were in a large cornfield and all of a sudden Aborigine natives from the outback appeared. They cast a spell on me and Pach. We became slaves and were told to take over the government as our Secret Plan, Operation Flying Squirrel, took effect. Suddenly the flaming cow appeared out of nowhere and destroyed the evil spell. So me and Pach decided to hurl down the evil tribe of badness and destroy them. Led by the flaming cow we travelled to the outback and along with the Chicago Bears and New York Jets we found one tribe and showed them the correct was to do things with nonviolence. Well we told them after we kicked their ass. But suddenly...

So there me and Pach were along with the Chicago Bears and NY Jets. Arose before us rose the largest, meanest, ugliest guy we have ever seen. The Chief ran we assumed and as we said that the Chicago Bears and Jets imploded upon themselves. Me and Pach looked at each other and said "woah" then we scattered using evasive maneuvers kinda like Star Trek. Suddenly Pach trips and breaks his leg. That was not good but luckily the Michigan militia jump out from behind a bush and started shooting... and then they imploded. BULLETS DIDN'T AFFECT HIM. We thought we were done for when our savior came. Fu Ping [chem lab TA] appeared in a puff of smoke. The Chief was stunned as Fu Ping started an oxidation reaction and along with my heat vision made 8 molar sulfuric acid which we threw into the chieftan's eyes. Blinded he stumbled around and Fu Ping transformed into Steven Segal and broke his neck. Once it was over Fi Ping titrated Pach's leg and healed it. Fu Ping disappeared as fast as he had came and then I said "There goes my hero."