Sooooo... I told Neal to make a wish at 11:11 and he did. He asked if they came true and I told him that my last one of 4 years did. He said it couldn't have been him since I didn't know him 4 years ago. I told him it was related to him, and he asked if it was for a b/f. Here's what I'm thinking- he didn't want us to go out because of college, so since I don't have a b/f how could that mean it came true? Unless we are going out without him telling me... So, I told him that it wasn't that since he claimed he didn't want a g/f, and that it was to find someone who accepts and understands me. I told him it'd be nice to have a b/f, especially if it was him and Neal said that it was sweet of me to say. So I'm confused because he didn't contradict my saying that we aren't going out... I got a double message! So basically Neal says I have a boyfriend but that I'm not going out with him... so who's my boyfriend?

I just found out that Neal's parents thought I was "nice and everything" (in Neal's words). I'm right now trying to figure out how to say goodbye for 2 weeks. This will be interesting. How does one go about telling another he'll be missed? Without looking desperate?

Also, so I don't forget, I told John that if he could get 10 people to switch to yahoo from aim then I'd reconsider my decision not to use aim. It doesn't mean I'd change it.

Ok, so I'm back from the dinner with Neal and his parents. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be, but I was still scared. I made it through the night. Neal called me around 2 to tell me the details. Originally we were going to do something beforehand (see Minority Report) but there wasn't a good time. His parents picked me up at 6 and we arrived there around 6:30. While I was waiting for them to come by mom kept bugging me about my clothes (I was wearing a sparkly tank and shorts) and she made me change into a skirt, so I wore my jean one so it wasn't too dressy. Of course Neal and his dad were casual, while his mom was a dressy casual, so I felt a little out of place. On the way there his mom kept asking me questions and I was surprised at how much they knew about me. She asked me if I was still going to apply to Michigan Tech, and we talked about computer engineering and music and college in general. His dad asked me about composing. We talked about my Europe trip and all that I plan on doing. They asked me about my sisters. They asked me if I liked bike riding, which was out of the blue. We talked about my crap computer and our horrible lawnmower problems. Now I know what kind of odd things his parents knew about me. I didn't tell them that I already applied to Michigan Tech because I didn't want them to think I was following Neal. I felt bad refraining from mentioning though, and you guys know how honest I am. There was a long wait so Neal and I talked away from his parents where it was less nervewracking since we were both nervous. He actually remembered one of his dreams!! I was so proud of him because he claims he doesn't dream. Dinner was weird because I was so nervous I couldn't sit still. My foot kept moving. Neal's dad is very quiet, so I didn't quite catch what he was saying sometimes, and when the rice came he asked if I wanted any and I said yes, but I was quiet I guess because he didn't hear me and gave it to Neal. Then I took some after the 3 of them did and he was confused and I felt stupid. His dad's not as bushy as my first impression saw him as. I ended up sitting next to Neal and across from his parents so it was easier for them to talk to me. I hope I made a good impression. My fortune: Now is a good time to make new friends. Makes sense with college coming. Afterwards they asked if we wanted ice cream or anything, and neither of us did. Then they asked if we wanted to do anything more and since both of us are terribly indecisive, we didn't. On the way to my house we passed my church and I pointed it out to Neal.

Neal doesn't know yet what his parents think of me. I've just told him about how I applied to Michigan Tech this year. He took it well, but it seemed like he was a bit shocked and wanted to make sure he heard right. I don't know what I'm going to do if I get in.

I've decided to post a song of the day just because I am so freakin' bored!! I've spent about 15 minutes trying to fix Liz's blog and make it have links to mine and such, but it didn't work... so I'm going to try again. Go me! I'm learning html!

Song of the Day ~ Sugar by Fanoe

I just realized that yesterday I forgot to point out it was Jessa's birthday! Happy Belated 18th Birthday, Jessa! Also, my grandma called and it was annoying because I have to repeat things like 10 times because she just doesn't listen.

I added a link to email me, and hopefully it'll be working. This is basically to test it.

Well, Neal and I aren't going to do anything before dinner because he couldn't arrange it, whatever that means. I had things to ask him and tell him, but I had just awoken from a nap so I wasn't thinking. I thought about calling him back... but that'd be just weird. I guess I'll have to wait till tonight, but I was wondering if I needed to dress up or something. He and his family are going to pick me up, which is awfully nice of them since it's way out of their way. However then I will feel comfortable telling Neal the things I have to say. I am scared... and there's like 3 hours left!

Good news! I was talking to John and I succeeded in confusing him without confusing myself!

Rory Rhoreton, please show yourself. I have a word or 2 with you, regarding that if you're who I think you are and I do believe you're in my fan club. If that is the case, then I'll make sure to write more about Neal. I don't think he likes me as much as I like him.

Laura just realized that her guinea pig is dead. The last time she saw her move was 2 days ago... so that could be one old carcass. Laura's upset, but we told her that her room is a steam bath because her windows are never opened and her vent is covered. She also hasn't taken care of her since we got Amica, so my dad's been the one to do it but since he doesn't want to take her job he only checked every few days. I say it's about time Laura killed something (yeah, I know that's terrible) because I was the one who took care of her fish and my parents are the one who take care of her dog.

Well, today I got sick from some REALLY greasy sausage at Colonial. That wasn't fun since it happened at work, where Allison was being lazy and forcing me to do practically everything. I convinced Annie to let me take her picture, so that was cool. I'm eating dinner with the Andersons tomorrow at 6:30 but Neal and I are going to hang out beforehand since it'll be the last time we see each other for 2 weeks (unless I call him, like I plan on doing).

Visit my friend Liz's blog!

I also attempted to make a permanent link to her blog, so we'll see if it worked.

I got more out of John! He says that Neal's creepy because he likes me a bunch but doesn't want a relationship. I don't know if that's cause for the term creepy, but I'm not the one labelling him.

I was supposed to visit my great-great aunt today in a hospice, but my mom left at 9:30 because I wasn't up early enough. She didn't wake me up, and I was up at 9:30. She claimed she told me she was leaving then, but she only said "early" when she told me. After she got back we went to the mall and then I went to work and then I went to Sarah's. We waited for Melissa to arrive, and then we tried on Sarah's clothes. I picked out a red snake-skin dress to wear to the nightclub in London. I also took a 2 tank tops of hers, and wore her pink prom dress. Now I can say that I've worn a prom dress, since I didn't go to prom. I told Sarah that if she sells it I'm buying it because it's awesome. I want to get married in it.

Morgan had Jessa's birthday party today, but only Morgan, Melissa, and Jessa could go. Morgan was being a twit because she told everyone about it today (after it had been cancelled) so everyone had to work and couldn't go. None of us are big fans of Morgan anyway, and Jessa had no say in the party. It makes me angry that she's such a twit.

sigh Today I feel like Neal has been cryptic. I don't know how to really explain it, except that sometimes I think he's trying to hint something but I can't figure out what. I'll ask what he means and he doesn't say anything but "just wondering" or something along those lines. Like when he asked, "have you told melissa what happened at your party yet?" I told him I hadn't because every time I tried to call she wasn't home. Why did he ask? Did he want to tell her something? I asked and he said no. This isn't the first time he's done something weird like that. I wish he'd just spit out whatever he wants to say.

Ok, I did some research to find out why Kyle, Dustin, and now John find Neal creepy. This is really bothering me. I asked all 3. Dustin said he was just joking.
Kyle said this:
MInorThreat646 (11:25:25 PM): he just has an air about him
MInorThreat646 (11:25:26 PM): a creepy one
Monk Of St Spy (11:25:43 PM): an air? You and Dustin are the first ones to mention this "creepy air"
Monk Of St Spy (11:25:54 PM): what creates a creepy air, anyway?
MInorThreat646 (11:26:44 PM): do you ask why the wind blows...or why trees grow..or why the plauge spreads...then why ask why he is a creep
Monk Of St Spy (11:27:01 PM): Now he's a creep? Implying mean or whatever?
MInorThreat646 (11:27:30 PM): no not mean at all
MInorThreat646 (11:27:32 PM): just creepy
Monk Of St Spy (11:27:42 PM): How strange.
MInorThreat646 (11:27:59 PM): Slang An annoyingly unpleasant or repulsive person.
Monk Of St Spy (11:28:15 PM): He's repulsive???
MInorThreat646 (11:28:58 PM): but not repulsive!
Monk Of St Spy (11:29:21 PM): Wait, but the definition you put there claims repulsive.
MInorThreat646 (11:29:32 PM): thats waht creepy is
Monk Of St Spy (11:30:13 PM): Yeah and if he's creepy then by definition she's annoyingly unpleasant and/or repulsive.
MInorThreat646 (11:30:33 PM): alright so creepy in the other sense
Monk Of St Spy (11:30:45 PM): And what other sense is that?
Monk Of St Spy (11:30:46 PM): Scary?
MInorThreat646 (11:30:54 PM): naw
MInorThreat646 (11:30:57 PM): not that
MInorThreat646 (11:30:59 PM): just wierd
Monk Of St Spy (11:31:09 PM): Weird eh? In what way?
MInorThreat646 (11:31:21 PM): just in a way! !!!
Monk Of St Spy (11:31:39 PM): I should see what Dustin has to say about this. You're no help.
MInorThreat646 (11:34:51 PM): let me put this in computer terms
Monk Of St Spy (11:35:03 PM): ok
MInorThreat646 (11:35:03 PM): its like trying to direct connect but he has a diffenrt firewall
Monk Of St Spy (11:35:17 PM): Ok.
Monk Of St Spy (11:39:34 PM): So you're saying you guys aren't alike enough to connect and so he's creepy?
MInorThreat646 (11:40:22 PM): i think so
Monk Of St Spy (11:40:34 PM): Ok. I can see that.
John said this:
Monk Of St Spy (11:48:50 PM): I'm having the weirdest conversation with Neal right now.
JPATomasula (11:49:09 PM): oh yeah? what about
Monk Of St Spy (11:49:29 PM): US:
neot45 (11:45:04 PM): of course i feel that way sometimes when i am talking to a customer and i don't know what they are talking about
Monk Of St Spy (11:45:14 PM): Yeah, it's hard.
neot45 (11:45:17 PM): so i usually ask them about it and they usually tell me
Monk Of St Spy (11:45:34 PM): That's why sometimes I feel like I just don't get my point across- I'm not good at explaining things.
neot45 (11:45:44 PM): lol
neot45 (11:45:56 PM): but do you understand everything that you say?
Monk Of St Spy (11:46:05 PM): No, not that either. It's pretty sad.
neot45 (11:46:19 PM): must be
Monk Of St Spy (11:46:19 PM): Most of the time I do, but when I don't I have to use a metaphor or something.
neot45 (11:46:24 PM): then where does it all come from then?
neot45 (11:46:31 PM): oh
Monk Of St Spy (11:46:48 PM): Where does what come from?
neot45 (11:47:14 PM): all the things that you say?
neot45 (11:47:21 PM): does it just pop up from thin air?
Monk Of St Spy (11:47:36 PM): lol, I suppose you could say that.
neot45 (11:47:48 PM): lol
Monk Of St Spy (11:47:49 PM): I don't always think about what I say. I say the first thing that comes to my head.
neot45 (11:48:03 PM): oh
neot45 (11:48:14 PM): so your tongue is not attached to anything then?
Monk Of St Spy (11:48:22 PM): Sometimes I just don't know what I'm trying to say.
neot45 (11:48:32 PM): lol
Monk Of St Spy (11:48:36 PM): Well, my tongue... no, not really. That's why I'm so random at times.
neot45 (11:49:02 PM): lol
JPATomasula (11:50:29 PM): youre both nuts
Monk Of St Spy (11:50:33 PM): Yeah, we are.
Monk Of St Spy (11:50:40 PM): I didn't understand half of what he was saying
JPATomasula (11:50:51 PM): and Neals just creepy
Monk Of St Spy (11:51:06 PM): Why? Do you truly think that or are you joking?
JPATomasula (11:52:02 PM): um
JPATomasula (11:52:08 PM): i truly think that
Monk Of St Spy (11:52:08 PM): yeah?
JPATomasula (11:52:14 PM): as long as you arent going to question me further
Monk Of St Spy (11:52:18 PM): Well, tell me why. I'm trying to figure out why.
JPATomasula (11:53:03 PM): lol i aint got nothing against neal steph
JPATomasula (11:53:09 PM): hes odd, but who isnt?
Monk Of St Spy (11:53:12 PM): I know, but I'm curious.
Monk Of St Spy (11:53:17 PM): Why is he odd?
JPATomasula (11:53:42 PM): i dont get the way he thinks is all
Monk Of St Spy (11:54:14 PM): I get it, and that's why I belive he's my soul mate.
JPATomasula (11:56:23 PM): i mean the whole thing with you and him
JPATomasula (11:56:32 PM): its weird
Monk Of St Spy (11:56:34 PM): What? You can't see us together?
Monk Of St Spy (11:56:40 PM): Everyone else finds it cute.
JPATomasula (11:57:09 PM): its not that
Monk Of St Spy (11:57:10 PM): I couldn't understand it either, but I'm not going to complain!
JPATomasula (11:57:16 PM): its just the way hes dealt with it
Monk Of St Spy (11:57:22 PM): What do you mean?
JPATomasula (12:01:05 AM): i dunno, its just wierd
Monk Of St Spy (12:01:11 AM): I don't understand.
JPATomasula (12:01:14 AM): hey i gotta get to bed, gotte get up early tomorrow
Monk Of St Spy (12:01:16 AM): I'd like to.
Monk Of St Spy (12:01:28 AM): Well, email me then when you figure this out, because I'm so intrigued.
JPATomasula (12:01:34 AM): i dont understand it well enough to make you
JPATomasula (12:01:47 AM): lol i will

John has wisely pointed out that my superpower can't be flying since I already have precognition. I guess I'm the info-sidekick. We're discussing it right now since he thinks you can't have more than one superpower. I think it'd be a supplement to my flying. John seems to think telekenesis means mindreading, and I told him it wasn't. He says he'd make people tell him things and that's how it'd be mindreading. It's bogus.

Kyle and Dustin find Neal creepy for some reason. They said it wasn't anything they could define.

Today I spent my day turning Allison's cds into mp3s for my baby, then working. BORING!

I'm bored. Sarah was wondering this when we went camping: how do the eyes know to be eyes? Why don't we have eyes in our fingers or something? This got me to wondering, and I asked Neal this yesterday and we discussed it for awhile. Would you have eyebrows over the eyes in your fingers? Would it hurt to touch things, so would they have eyelids to protect them? And would you still have the eyes on your face? If not, would the eyebrows disappear and the forehead then grow larger? And if you did keep the eyes, what would your sight look like since each individual eye combines views to form 1 picture?

I was just remembering the discussion John and I had about fat. He seems to think that if you had fat surgically placed on the top of your head it would stay in whatever shape you put it. I think it would start to droop, as evidenced by any obese person around.

I was also just remembering how Kim and I are connected. When she gets hurt, I hurt in the same place. She had a name for this, but I don't recall it at the moment. Kyle and her are oppositely connected.

Lalala, I'm going to finally see Star Wars today. I officially sent the application to Michigan Tech, so now all I have to do is wait. I'll probably end up getting something while I'm in Europe. I'm going to miss writing in this for 2 weeks! I'll make sure I write down all the highlights. Sunday I'm going out to dinner with Neal and his parents. I'm already nervous!

Wow.... I have something odd to share. Neal's parents want me to join his family for dinner some time before I leave for Europe. Isn't that just the weirdest thing? It's not like we're going out. However, 2 people have already mistakenly called him my boyfriend. No matter how much I'd like that, it might not happen. I just am so shocked, though. Why??? I hope I make a good impression.

John wants me to add an addendum: He wants to have telekenesis so he could order people around. I personally think it's funnier with precognition.

I was reading my last posts and they were pretty boring. I need more fun ones. If John was a super hero, he'd be the one with precognition, so he has the knowledge of bad but he can't do anything so he's "doomed to be the info-sidekick." I'd have flying, and Neal would have fireballs that shoot from his hands. Neal would go save people from avalanches and I'd fly him there. John would tell us where they are. We don't have a team name yet, or costumes. John seems to think it's possible to order a room around. I personally think he's crazy.

The cyclops has only one eye and it's in its forehead, but the forehead is above the eyebrow, so does that mean the eyebrow of a cyclops is below the eye?

I completed my application for Michigan Tech and we're going to send it in tomorrow... I'm afraid of my dad. I found out why he doesn't approve of me doing this. He thinks I'm having college cold feet and that since I chose Augustana by gut feeling (or really just because it was easy) that I'm making a mistake. I'm still afraid of making a decision, because it will change my life. When I visited Mr. Wince for a copy of my transcript he kept calling me Lindsay. I wish people would know me.

Anyway, he filled out his stuff and after that I visited Mr. Leff to see if he has the tape of the concert done. Nope! He better do it soon because I paid him for it! Earlier today I was at the driver's license place with my mom because she had to get an eye test done and there was a guy there who looked JUST LIKE Heath Ledger. It was so weird. He was very friendly.

I ended up going to bed sometime after 4, because I couldn't fall asleep. That was quite frustrating because I had to get up at 6:30 since my mom needed to be somewhere at 8 and I had to drive her. However she came in my room and woke me up to tell me she didn't want to go, so I got 3 extra hours to sleep and a grand total of 5 1/2 hours. Talking to Neal is causing me sleep deprivation, because we talked for 4 hours last night! It was a scary conversation about depression... but it also had fun parts that weren't scary.

Now I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't apply to Michigan Tech right away. I can't decide!!!!!!! I'm so afraid to make the wrong choice again!

I had my graduation party yesterday, and I had the most fun I've ever had in my whole life! It was my first party that I've thrown, and I'm quite proud of it. Liz came over early and helped me set up after we played Mhing several times and she kept winning... grr. Oh, and she has a blog now- . She's also member number 2 of my fan club! WOO!!! Anyway, after playing Mhing she watched me make a sign for my party that took me half an hour since I kept misspelling things and couldn't decide whether to call Amica (our dog) a man-eating Anaconda (which I did). Then we went outside and listened to music and she watched me get WAY excited when our first guests arrived, Lindsay and Adam. Soon after Michelle came and then Lauren, Kevin, Dustin, and Kim. Basically here's who came: those I listed, John, Kristen, Neal, Sarah, James, Kyle, and... I think that's it. I hope I didn't forget anyone, because if I did then I suck! We played a lot of volleyball (and my dad thought it'd be too hot to play, pish), badminton, frisbee/soccer monkey in the middle (using the volleyball), croquet, ImaginIff, and capture the flag. We never actually saw the concert, but it was no big deal because my party was funner anyway. We had enough food "to feed a small army" as Liz put it nicely. I must say, I'm going to be eating chicken and beef for a month (never mind that I'm going to be gone for 2 weeks in Europe). The party officially ended around 1:15 AM, so it was quite long and quite fun. While playing capture the flag I was a little put out because Kim wouldn't let me do anything but guard jail (because I'm not supposed to be doing strenuous exercise) but the second time she didn't care and I wasn't put out anymore. I must say, my yard is a horrible place for capture the flag because it's too easily a stalemate. And I run faster than Kyle thought, which was fun when I tackled him. I did a lot of running around and stuff, so my heart wasn't too happy at me but I don't care! Today I realized that I haven't had gym in 4 years and badminton in a year, so I'm a bit out of shape. Translate: my butt muscles are sore. My 4th toe on my right foot is dark purple and I thought I had broken it like Michelle did to hers, but according to the doctor it's alright. My leg looks like one giant bruise, mostly from me diving for the ball during frisbee/soccer keep-away. It doesn't hurt, and it was well worth it because rolling on the ground is fun. I have lots of teeny bruises on my wrist from volleyball (where I learned how to serve, and now can hit it sometimes in retaliation!). I bruise easily, and it's worse since I'm taking aspirin and that makes bruising easier. Stupid aspirin suppose to help my heart (which slowed down a couple days ago and scared the heck out of me). Speaking of heck, I actually said hella yesterday and it surprised me since I don't normally swear or whatever.

Now to speak of other things... Neal had a lot of fun, which is way exciting for me. I'm very glad! I have a lot to say to him right now, but he's not on so it's quite frustrating. I actually came to a realization that when I said I couldn't comprehend that he likes me, I meant that I couldn't accept it. I can't believe I looked in the thesaurus for that word and couldn't find it. I'm so stupid. I also came to the scary realization that he is basically what I always have imagined my soul mate to be like, and I hope he doesn't find that out cuz that would certainly mess things up. I also realized that he accepts me as a whole, which is what my deepest wish has been- to find someone who understands me (AKA accepts all of me). It's scary... I didn't think I'd find it, especially since none of my friends really accept all of me.

Want to hear a funny story? Of course you do! Saturday night (AKA 1 AM Sunday morning) I was hungry and I couldn't understand why. Then I realized that I had not had a big lunch like I thought I did. I actually only ate 1 cookie (out of the ones I made for John), a few pieces of popcorn chicken from KFC, and 1 piece of pizza. No wonder I was starving! I felt pretty foolish after that. Actually, today I've only had 1 piece of chicken since I didn't have time to eat until I got back from guitar lessons around 7:45. Since I had to clean up from my party, I didn't eat till even later and now I'm not hungry anymore. I've been running errands all day and tomorrow I have to wake up early to take my mom somewhere at 7:30. It sucks.

Want to hear another funny story? Laura put a liter of pop in the freezer. We told her to put it in the basement to keep it cold, and she translated that to mean the freezer. When we realized it the next day, it was very frozen and we took it outside to explode.

I've decided to apply to Michigan Tech this year. It has everything I want- the major, the minor, the clubs, the price, the Neal, the state, the size... It's perfect. I'm doing it against my dad's wishes (he's forbbiden me to apply for this year- he's never put his foot down in his life so I'm taking a great risk since I don't know how he'll react). I'm going to finish the application today and get my transcript tomorrow then send it off. Hopefully I'll be accepted, and then we'll have to let Augustana know. I only chose Augustana because it was the first one I was accepted into and I didn't have to write an essay. I was stupid. Luckily Michigan Tech has rolling applications which means it has no deadlines. What a sweet thing it is.

This was awfully long, and I realized that I should have written more about my college problems before. You have the shortened version.

Well, I talked with Neal. He brought up last night and me having more questions, so I asked them. Unfortunetely aim had an illegal operation before I could save it so I lost his responses. Once again we were fishing for things to talk about. I don't like this, because I feel like we're not connecting. We've stopped emailing- well, he's stopped. I sent something and he didn't respond. He imed me about a teeny part of it, but not all of it. This is so sad. Kim says ugh because I sound like I'm in love. I don't believe it though because how can I be in love with him romantically if we don't have a romantic relationship going on?

I'm still very bored and very waiting for Neal. Sarah claims I'm obsessing but really, I'm just scared. I'm so scared at what today will be like that I can't eat and I feel sick. I'm afraid that I killed our friendly relationship.

Once again I was rejected from working at the fair for the same reason as yesterday. Gr.... I want a fair chance to make 10 extra bucks as everyone else! I think there's some conspiracy going on, just like the one where everyone's name rhymes with Ye, the name of the restaurant I work at. Sally, Johnny, Ricky, Annie, Stephie (me), Sarah Lee, Alli, Amy, and Andy! Who knows who else will work there!

I talked to Lauren about my conversation last night, and she says it doesn't sound bad. I'm still afraid, though. John thought it was good... I still haven't heard from Neal, so he's probably still fishing. I'll keep you posted.

After rereading our conversation last night, I'm now terrified that I may have killed anything that was between us. I don't know how to fix it, either! I'm scared... I just don't feel like smiling anymore and I want to talk to him so I can fix it, but he's out fishing right now. Oh man, did I mess things up. Let's just hope it was only in my imagination that I did so. I mean, I was digging deep- like trying to find out why we flirted and what the point was if we're never going to get together and stuff. I think it was a mistake.

I sure have been busy today with my blog. Well, now I guess that'd be yesterday. Anyway, I have just had a pretty serious conversation with Neal about things like why he likes me. Really- I can't think of a good reason. I mean, he gave me some and everything... but I guess what I'm really trying to do right now is feel-out how deep the feelings are or if he's reconsidering. I mean, I only recently figured out that he liked me. I don't really know what I'm going for.

Well I ended up talking to Neal and Adam both for 3 hours. I really didn't think I had that much to say to Neal. I really didn't want to stop, but it was 1 AM and I do need sleep. I had stuff to say to him today and ironically he's not on! If he doesn't come on within the next hour, I'm going to email him. He's usually on all the time! Crazy Neal...Veal...Neo. Crazy nicknames.

Today at work I was once again at the store because then I'd be with Allison and it'd be easier to leave since we live at the same house. She is my sister, you know. Work was boring until I got visitors!!!! Kim, Kyle, Dustin, and Milena visited. I didn't talk to Milena much because I was on the phone and she decided to leave before I got off, but I did get to talk to her a little. Apparently she went to Europe and while there she petted a Croatian cat and now has ringworm. Fun!

I had to answer the phone for a deaf woman, so everything had to be relayed back and forth and it took forever. Especially since she ordered a large ye's combination, and I asked combination what and she just told me what the combination was. I needed to know if she wanted fried rice, egg foo young, chow mein, chop suey, chow mein cantonese style, lo-mein, or war-mein. That was really frustrating. I really hate getting calls from her because we go through the same thing every time.

Anyway, I finally got off and had a lovely time talking to my visitors. Kyle and Dustin were disgusted by my bruise. I don't know why everyone gets freaked out- it's just discolored skin! It's not nearly as bad as it used to be, and they should be glad I'm not showing them the bruise on my crotch! Come on! It's just skin! I learned more about Dustin's heart condition which is like what I have. That was fun to talk about, and mainly why the bruise thing came up.

Mrs. Bailey's daughter helped out at the fair today. I hear she's nice. Since I wasn't allowed to be there, I wouldn't know. I'm bitter about that. Anyway, Mrs. Bailey's a little creepy sometimes so I'm glad I wasn't where she visited.

You know, this is the weirdest thing. I was talking to Neal, and when he first said something my heart skipped a beat. Then we were talking and we were totally flirting with each other and everything. It was bad, in a good way. I also had great fun talking to Adam cuz he and I are both kind of philisophical so we were discussing life and it's meanings a lot.

I'm determined to write in this more since it seems to be doing good. And regardless on whether Neal reads this, I have a duty to my fans. Sarah says I'm obsessed, but I beg to differ.

Sooooo... watch out for the many adventures of ME! There will be a 2 week break in July since i'll be in Europe, but I'll be sure to write down everything and make a really long blog when I come back.

Guess what! I have a fan! Maybe I should start a fan club...

Adam, you are officially the 1st member of my Steph's Life Is A Soap Opera, Only Interesting fan club. It made my day to learn that you're addicted to my site. I didn't think anyone read it.

Hey, you people out there! AIM me at Monk of St Spy if you're a fan and I can put you up here on my site!

I got a tip today at work, which was neat. I hope it wasn't because I had decided to wear a skirt and sleeveless top. Not much happened. Yesterday some guy tried to pick me up at the mall... that was weird. I had been talking to Lauren about the new Scooby Doo movie and the guy at the store started talking to us about it. Then we started talking about weezer (since they had 4 =w= songs in a row) and he was being overly friendly... On the plus side, I bought ImaginIff, the best game in the world!

I went camping this weekend. Friday night was freezing- I could see my breath! The water at the campsite had some kind of poisonous bacteria in it so we couldn't use any of it for drinking and cooking unless we boiled it first. I ended up playing lots of cards with Kim, Sarah, and Sarah's brother. Some of Sarah's Vietnamese relatives came along, so it was very strange since I had no idea who they were and most definetely don't speak Vietnamese. They even brought along 2 Buddhist monks, which I thought was awesome! I took some pictures of them in their bright orange dress. It rained several times on and off so we couldn't do much outside. I was miserable that night because it was so cold. I had 3 shirts on, pants, and my sleeping bag and was inside a tent but I was still cold.

On Saturday it was very warm so we went down to the lake for a hike on the bluffs. The trail was flooded but we decided to take it anyway (which was a bad idea since I'm not supposed to be doing strenuous activity). To avoid the flooded parts we had to climb on several boulders and a couple of us fell into the water. Luckily I did not. The monks were amazing, however! They scaled the boulders about 15-20 feet high and they were so quick! They had started some time before us, but soon caught up and passed us! I took a picture of one of them, Roth (he said it was Muni or something, but Roth is easier), being really high up. He was my favorite monk, which sounds pretty funny. Seriously though, these guys amazed me! Somehow Roth knew that I wanted a picture of him, so he kept asking me to take his picture so I have several now. After we followed the lake for about a mile, the trail went up and back the way we came for about 1 1/2 miles. It was especially tough climbing up since I'm still not quite used to my heart beating normal, but I think it was good that I did it because I need the exercise. About halfway through that part Kim's knees started to bother her so both of us decided that we were done hiking for the day after this trail. When we got back we happened upon Susie Suwalski (I'm not sure how to spell the last name) who's in the orchestra at Elgin. That was pretty weird. When we got back to the campsite we took naps (which was beautiful since I hadn't slept well the night before) and then played cards some more. It started raining and thundering, and then in the middle it began hailing. It was in the 70s, so that was really crazy! After the weather cleared we went to the lake to go kayaking and canoeing, but everything was closed. We had only 1 kayak so we took turns using it. Dinner was very amusing because the monks were playing some music and it was Jingle Bells in English and Vietnamese. There was a little boy at the next campsite over who kept coming over to play with us. We kept throwing pennies into the grass and he'd find them and be so amazed because he didn't know where they came from. That was pretty fun. That night after lots of yummy smores (and Sarah and Kim trying to fatten me up) it was cold again so this time I added a coat to my layers and wrapped a towel around me. I actually got a nice sleep.

Yesterday we had a big breakfast. This time the monks were playing ghetto music intermingled with Vietnamese, which was a strange mix. It surprised me when the first song they played was one from the cd Neal made! I was so proud of myself for knowing it. After breakfast we packed up and went to the dells so the monks could ride on the ducks. The jokes were horribly corny and we worse than John's! We traveled home after that, and ironically it was the only day we didn't see rain!

Arg! I want to change majors but I'm totally screwed! I want computer engineering but Augustana doesn't have that! Michigan Tech does and it has the minor of my dreams but I'd be following Neal and I don't know if that's a good idea... I'm so stressed!

Yay! Neo liked my graduation present for him! That's all I have to say. Hopefully he won't discover this little blog of mine... I'm gonna let it shine. Ok, I'm gonna stop singing now.

Poem #5
A Moment of Doubt
You and I part company for the night.
Driving home I’m happy just thinking about you.
The moment fades away…
Like a whisper on the wind.
Morning comes; the night was tough.
I spent it all with you,
Replaying every moment.
In the shower it hits me,
Disbelief surrounding me
In a thick haze.
Although my eyes and ears know it happened
My brain is not in the game.
“There’s something wrong with yesterday,” it whispers.
“You couldn’t have been the one he was with.”
I give in, succumbing to the inevitable.
Self-doubt.
The fog clears and I wonder
Why is the truth so hard to believe?
Why is my brain refusing to do its job?
The answer eludes me
Until the next night spent together.

I think I figured out what Jessa feels, because I feel it too. I have this intense feeling of uncomprehension (is that a word?) that I can't get rid of, even though I know it's not validated. I know the truth, but I just can't believe it. This poem was inspired from yesterday and the resultant feelings of today. I met Neo's parents... I wasn't expecting to, so it was weird.

Reality is not Kyle in a Neal suit!

I'm going to see Insomnia tomorrow with Neo. I'm looking forward to it! I'm finding out lots of things about him... like how he likes the occaisional drink and he likes rap. It's very interesting and not me. I've finally gotten over the migraines that were plagueing me, and I'm excited about that.